Random thoughts from the past 8 1/2 months...

A Cesarean Section is now called a Cesarean Birth. Apparently the term C-section diminishes the effort that a woman puts into having a child. This kind of reminded me of the time I went to Petsmart and asked for a choke chain and was lectured that it’s actually called a “pinch collar”.

Speaking of terms…not since my college Spanish class have I been introduced to words that were this foreign to me. Examples:

Baby Term ---- Mark’s Definition

Meconium --- womb poop
Dilation --- hoo-ha opening
Effacement --- head popping out
Nubain --- The “make you feel a bit loopy” drugs
Cervix --- Girl parts
Bloody Show --- Not what you think
Co-Sleeper --- Crib that attaches to the bed (not the person sleeping next to you)


When Amy and I were making a visit to the hospital we saw an interesting sign that said “Midwifery Services”. Amy thought that maybe it should have been “Midwivery Services” which lead to a conversation without a conclusion. Does one become a midwive if one helps two people at the same time? Do you have to have 2 midwifes to have midwivery? Do they only have Midwives in Utah?

In the last couple months of a pregnancy, I seriously think that packing peanuts might work out better than pillows in bed. There are quite a lot of pillows needed to make an 8 month pregnant woman comfortable.

Sympathy Weight is real! I’ve gained 15 pounds in the past few months and while Amy’s cravings have been relatively calm (chicken nuggets, chicken noodle soup, A Panera Panini)…my cravings have gone from Ice Cream to Frozen Yogurt to Flavorice (Flavorices?) and yes…even pickles. The other day I demanded bread and butter pickle slices be put in the cart when we were shopping. Sigh.

When taking a child to a sonogram…it’s probably a good idea to prep them on what they are going to see. Amy and I brought Caleb to the first sonogram and he was convinced that Amy had swallowed a dog (and an alien).

I think we are paying for this pregnancy with urine. Every time Amy and I go to the doctor she has to bring a vial of pee with her. They say that they are doing some kind of test on it but it all seems really suspicious for me.

I’ve learned that while gently touching your partner’s stomach, the thing NOT to say is “Ewww…gross!” when the baby moves. Even if it’s a really startling movement that feels strange…

Labor Emergency Rooms are nicer than every other emergency room.